Author: Wolf Bird

Today was a happy day. We hiked into Tehachapi a desert oasis of relaxation and entertainment adjacent to some of the driest, scenic stretches on the trail. 

We woke up lateish for how hot it was supposed to be at 5:15 a.m.  We had around 17 miles to the second entrance to Tehachapi. Apparently a lot of people exit at the first entrance because it is an easier hitch. The second entrance was along highway 58 and though there is little traffic on the ramp, there is a bus that stops there on it’s way between Mojave and Tehachapi. 

We got packed up quickly and walked 10 yards to a really cool water cache. The trail angels had built a cute hangout space and there was a lot book, seating, water, tp, and fruit. We signed the log book and started walking. Within a mile or two both Sherpa and I had to slip off the trail to take care of our morning ritual and then the hike really began. 

We were walking all day in the largest wind farm in the US. It was memorizing and there was a nice breeze all day that kept us relatively cool though slightly dehydrated. 

The trail was mostly downhill though it had these little high frequency ups and downs that were very jarring. I was getting slightly seasick. 

After about 10 miles we could see some camper vans below and I asked Sherpa if it was Coppertone. She said she thought he said he would be a couple miles ahead. When we reached the valley we saw a sign “Copertone is in”. 

We got very excited and picked up our pace and when we arrived Tofu was already there and relaxing. Copertone and Legend were both there chilling hard with a group of hikers.  We sat down and relaxed for a few minutes.  I was eager to get underway because I was concerned about the heat. 

We hiked across the road and up a gentle slope and through cow pastures and the wind farm. The wind continued so we were safe from the heat.  We found out later that a lot of hikers skipped this section because there was “nothing interesting”  That seemed like an excuse to skip, we found it to be very pretty and we were happy to knock off 8 miles on a very dry section.  Now when we return we only have a 17 mile waterless stretch. 

Three miles before the highway the three of us sat on a memorial bench and relaxed. We made it to the road by 12:30. 18 miles seems like no big deal, especially when it’s cool and mostly downhill. 

As soon as we arrived we walked towards the onramp to hitch and immediately we spotted the bus rolling in our direction. We were ecstatic! Such a trail coincidence. Stuff like that happens every day so you get used to it but I try not to expect it. I am very superstitious. 

The bus was pleasant and I really enjoyed this odd slice of normal life. Many people seemed to be on there way to work or some errand. Sherpa was saying later how she gets nostalgic for doing mundane things like running errands and that resonates with me as well.  That being said. There are so many errands involved in sustaining a hike! 

The bus pulled into a Kmart parking lot and we rushed off.  I love the momentary confusion of finding yourself in an unfamiliar place. Tofu spotted a resturant and we all headed inside and immediately ordered food and I got a beer. There we ran into two hikers names Hobo and Caddyshack. Hobo was from Maine! We chatted with them for a while until they left. 

While there Tofu and Sherpa figured out a hotel plan while I looked on pretending to help. We decided we would stay in the Best Western and it was a great decision. 

Tofu’s spagetti was cold and she had to have it reheated.  Then all of us realized our fopd wasnt hot as well but we just went ahead and ate it anyway. After finishing eating we headed to Kmart to look for town clothes. 

We were not successful but the ladies did get some bags of salad for later. Classy. We left there and headed for Best Western. We were early so we put in our names and then headed to a thrift store and found some great town clothes for under 4 bucks!

We headed back to the BW and checked in to our room and it was fabulous. Two giant beds, tv, microwave, hardwood floors, and fridge. Luxury. 

We showered then spent some time at the pool until we heard from Yote and 2.Toe. They just got in and were craving margs  so we headed to the Mexican restaurant and stuffed ourselves. It was good to see them again as we hadn’t seen them since we passed them near the bridge at the end of the aqueduct. They seemed like they had a tough but enjoyable hike. Apparently at the bridge they got some amazing trail magic. Beers, sodas and food. The pyramid of hiker power. 

Afterwards we grabbed some beer said goodbye to Toe and Yote and headed to the room. We hit up the pool and hot tub some more then back to the room to turn in. 

We relaxed and turned on the tv because we must enjoy all of the luxury. We were so excited when we found Who’s Line is It Anyway? We were cracking! Such s gem. 

The fun ended with the show and we switched off the lights. Sherpa turned to me and said “you are amazing” and we closed our eyes and slept like little hiker babies. 

The content documented herein may cause the reader to visualize disturbing imagery and discretion is advised. 
THIS IS A TRUE STORY. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the victims, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.

4:30 a.m. at camp. Dog Bat pulls out one earplug and reaches for his phone to switch off his alarm. He glances over at Derpa. 

Dog Bat: Did you hear the alarm?

Derpa: Yes! (angrily)

Derpa rolls over frustrated and annoyed. Dog Bat let’s the air out of his air mattress and begins packing his sleeping bag into a stuff sack. 

Derpa: Why do you do that?

Dog Bat: Because I want to make sure you heard the alarm! Next time, you can set your own alarm. 

Derpa: I obviously heard it. 

Dog Bat: How is that obvious? I’m trying to be nice! 

Dog Bat starts cramming his sleeping bag into the stuff sack harder hoping that Derpa will hear his displeasure. Derpa switches on her headlamp and is looking around vigorously. Dog Bat eyes her.

Dog Bat: What are you doing?

Derpa: I am putting in my contacts. 

Derpa leans away from Dog Bat and begins putting in her contacts. 

[Scene.]

Derpa and Dog Bat are nearly packed and ready to start hiking. Tofurkey has her bag on and is looking at them. 

Tofurkey: See you soon!

Derpa and Dog Bat together: See you soon!

Tofu starts down the trail. Derpa and Dog Bat put on their packs and Dog Bat eyes the privy then chugs almost two litres of water to reduce weight. 

[Scene.]

Dog Bat and Derpa walking single file down the trail, Dog Bat behind. Sun rising as they walk downhill through dense and scrubby brush.  

Dog Bat: This is beautiful. I love walking early in the morning. Also, I kind of wish I had tried to use the privy back there. 

Derpa: Do you need to go?

Dog Bat: I’m not sure yet. I should be fine till we get there.  I forgot to pack out TP anyway. 

Derpa: I have some you can use.

Dog Bat: Yeah I might have to take you up on that. 

The two of them continue walking for a while. 

Dog Bat (singing intermittently): Man! I feel like a woman!

Dog Bat (singing intermittently): Oh, oh, oh!

Derpa (interjecting also singing): Let’s go girls!

Dog Bat: Good ole Shania! We need to play some when we get to Hiker Town. 

Derpa: I know!  Let’s go girls!

Dog Bat: I think I need to find a spot to poop. I don’t know if I can make it. 

Derpa: Do you want my TP?

Dog Bat: Not right now. 

They continue walking for a few more moments intermittently singing different Shania verses and sounds. 

Dog Bat: There are no good places to go. All the brush is so dense. 

Dog Bat is visibly agitated. 

Dog Bat: I need to find a spot, fast!

Derpa: Do you want to go ahead?

Dog Bat (more anxious): No I just need to find a spot. 

They walk by a dirt road. 

Derpa: Go down that road. 

Dog Bat (relived): Oh good. Thank God! I’ll catch up in a few. 

Derpa: OK

Dog Bat walks down the dirt road and discovers 3 tents. Turns around exasperated. 

Dog Bat (shouting first then tapering off thinking of the sleeping hikers): THERE ARe tents here!

Dog Bat steps quickly to catch Derpa. 

Derpa: Why didn’t you go on the dirt road?

Dog Bat doesn’t respond and his anxiety is visibly increasing as he looks from side to side. 

Derpa: What happened?

Dog Bat (yelling with extreme anxiety): STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

Derpa starts to cry and stops walking. 

Derpa: Just leave me alone!

Dog Bat (storming passed): Fine! I would love to. 

Dog Bat marched on frustrated and mumbling to himself. 

Dog Bat (mumbling): I obviously need to poop and she is asking a buch of questions and if I break my concentration I am going to shit my pants. She should understand that and not be upset!

Dog Bat marches on for a while. Derpa sniffling walking behind very indignant. After a few moments Dog Bat’ s anxiety decreases and his mood softens.  He stops and turns to Derpa. 

Dog Bat: I am sorry I just have an emergency and I needed every bit of my concentration to not shit my pants. 

Derpa (feeling slightly better): That’s fine, you just don’t need to be so mean. 

Dog Bat: I’m sorry. I didnt mean to be unkind. I was just in a bad way. I think I have it under control now. 

Dog Bat and Derpa walk on. 

[Scene.]

Dog Bat and Derpa round the bend and approach the 500 mile mark. Dense brush and narrow trail all around. 

Derpa: We are here babe! We made it!

Dog Bat: Oh wow! 

Derpa takes out her iPhone and they both smile for a selfy next to a 500 made out of rocks in the sand. 

Dog Bat (again with anxiety): Can you give me your toilet paper? Just in case it’s an emergency again? 

Derpa: Sure. 

Derpa takes off her pack and reaches inside and starts to take it out. Dog Bat starts dancing around. The sight of the toilet paper makes his emergency even more urgent. 

Dog Bat: Oh! I need to go now!

Derpa walks a few yards away and points with her pole to an opening.

Derpa:  There is a tent site right here!

Dog Bat dancing around let’s a fast loose and it’s clear from his expression that it was a shart. Sweating and dancing around he despretly looks for an opening in the brush. Derpa continues walking. 

Dog Bat (pretending like he didn’t just shit his pants as Sherpa exits): I have to go now! 

Dog Bat forces his way behind a bush next to the trail dancing, farting, and shitting his pants as he does. He frantically digs a hole then pulls his pants down and drops to squat over the poorly dug hole. All kinds of horrific sounds echo from behind the scraggly bush. 

After a moment a hiker passes and makes eye contact. 

Dog Bat: Sorry. 

Hiker #1 (smiling and walking): When you gotta go, you gotta go.  

Dog Bat continues to squat over the whole and looks in his pants.  

Dog Bat (to himself): It’s like cleaning a poopy diaper! 

Soon three other hikers walk by and Dog Bat holds his breath. They seem not to notice. Dog Bat uses all the toilet paper and wet wipes to clean his shorts and his poopy ass. 

[Scene.]

Dog Bat is walking and sees Tofurky and Derpa standing on a cistern in the distance along with Hiker #1, #2, #3, #4. He reluctantly approaches. 

Derpa: Are you all better.

Dog Bat: It was dark. 

Derpa: What happened?

Dog Bat (whispering): I shat my pants. 

Derpa laughs hard and loud. 

Tofurkey: What happened? I want to know!

Dog Bat: You will have to read about it on the blog. 

 [Fin.]

Today was an unusual day because we were heading into supposedly one of the hottest sections of the trail along the LA Aqueduct. 

The hiking was at first very easy but gradually got more difficult after the above scene. Before long we were getting close to the valley floor and walking parallel to it which meant we were on a rollercoaster of large hills that made up the foothills.  

The terrain was difficult on it’s own but to make matters worse, it was exceptionally hot. We were entering a breezy valley but the foothills prevented the wind from making our hike manageable. Sherpa was especially affected and was starting to get scared. We had to stop in the shade a few times and take stock. We found out later that she was not alone. Lots of hikers were concerned. 

The catch with stopping is that with each passing minute it gets hotter. So though the breaks can cool you down, the hiking ahead is now hotter than when you paused. 

After A couple breakdown moments we finally could see the road.  The trail meandered for miles before we descended to the road. It was tough knowing it was so close yet the trail was certainly taking its time.  

Finally we hit the scorching road and walked the last mile in some intense heat. We then arrived at Hiker Town, a hostel where the founders built a mini town out of trailers and sheds.  We glanced at our watches and realized we had time for the 12 shuttle to the Neenach Cafe. We walked through the front gate, threw down our bags, and collapsed in some chairs on a porch. Tofu showed up not too long after and we decided to hitch as the shuttle had not arrived and it was almost 1. 

As soon as we walked out to the road the shuttle arrived and we piled in and headed to Neenach. 

Once there we saw that they were having a little town festival so they were only serving bbq from a tent. Sherpa and Tofu were a little disappointed.  Sherpa wasn’t in the mood for BBQ and Tofu is a vegetarian.  They got snacks from the market and I got the bbq.  Outside we found a picnic table and moved it into the shade next to a dj setup. 

After hanging out and eating for a while, we were joking about getting him to play some Shania Twain. I said why not ask but the girls didn’t want to ask.  So I said I would. 

I went up to the white haired, white bearded man and asked him if he had any Shania, he said no. I could tell he was kind of dissappointed that he couldn’t accommodate, especially since we were the only people listening to the music. Soon he was on the internet and playing a whole album.  Sherpa and Tofu were psyched and singing along!

After hanging out outside we moved the party inside for a while and Sherpa and I got cheeseburgers while Tofu played cards with Vice, Boat House, and Steve. At one point, in classic hiker trash fashion, Vice made a burrito right on the table. 

Yote and 2.Toe showed up and were laying out in the shade on the porch. I gave them a corona and a lime to go with their dinner. 
Before long we were all back at Hiker Town and packing our bags and preparing to do some night hiking.  Tofu, Sherpa, and I planned to hike at least a couple miles then get up around 3 and hike the rest of the hot section.  Yote and 2.Toe wanted to go farther and were pounding redbull. 

We said goodbye and hit the trail with what seemed like 30 other hikers.  It was pretty cool watching all of them on the road in a big hiker gaggle.

Hiking on the aqueduct was beautiful, fun, and a little hypnotic. It was mostly straight to the east and very flat. The flatest section was covered but early on we saw some open sections with the sunset and it was gorgeous. 

We hiked on into the moonlit night for about 9 miles passing many shadowy hikers in the dark. Finally around 10 p.m. we decided to camp. We started to set up in the aqueduct but every hiker had to stop and tell us we were going to get hit by a car, even though we were clearly off the vacant dirt road.  Finally we relented just so we weren’t woken up by some do gooder on a mission. 

We set up in the sand and cooked dinner and went to bed under the stars. After a little tossing and turning we slept like little hiker babies. 

Today we headed to Green Valley and Casa De Luna. Casa De Luna, we heard, was named because it is the spot most hikers hit after a month on the trail.  We discovered later that was only half the tale.

It will be a month to the day tomorrow for Shedpa and I and we are planning on celebrating. 

We woke up at 5:30 a.m. and as I was wiping the sleep out of my eyes, Yote and 2.Toe passed the tent and jokingly whispered something to the effect of “what kind of jerks put their tent right in the middle of the trail?” I laughed and we started packing up our bags.  We heard Tofu say goodbye and start hiking.  We weren’t too far behind. 

The hiking was enjoyable and after a short climb, not to hard. We passed a sort of leader board and memorial bench.  The board had times for record setters to that point.  Pretty remarkable. 

Before long we could see the Green Valley Fire station as we descended to the road crossing where we would hitch to Casa De Luna.  When we arrived we decided to wait on Tofu, Tote, and 2.Toe who were not far behind.  We were in no rush and felt pretty confident about an easy hitch.  Soon we could see them descending and Sherpa was spying on them through the “monocular” I got from the hiker box in Hiker Town.  Tofu showed up first and then Yote. As he crossed the road I put the monocular on my phone camera and snapped a pretty unflattering picture, which will come in handy later. Hiker bullies strike again!

Soon we were all together again and it was time to hit the road. Hitching took all of 2 minutes. A realtor in a red truck stopped and said she couldn’t take us all the way. I asked how far and she said pretty close, so we all piled in the back. We have ridden in the back of some great trucks so far and it’s by far my favorite way to hitch. 

On the way she picked up another hiker in front of a cafe that we heard had milkshakes and hamburgers. Our mouths salivated as we passed and she took us all the way to Casa De Luna.  I have to say my first impression was sort of “Oh god, what have we gotten ourselves into.”

We were created by a skinny man in a cowboy hat and all black long underwear. He had an unusual way of taking and there were groggy people laying around on dirty mattresses and there was junk kind of laying here and there. 
I snapped a photo because I thought, I am going to want to remember this moment.

The skinny man introduced himself as Country Gold and gave us a quick tour. Among other things he said we could camp anywhere in the back yard.  After getting the lay if the land we headed into the wooded back yard.  Instantly I started feeling better and the fear of the bazaar dissipated. The backyard was very large and full of tunnels and openings inside what looked like scrub oaks. Before long we all found a good spot to throw up our tents and stake our claim before going to the cafe.  

On the way out we bumped into Giggles and he gave us great directions to get to the cafe quickly. The walk was pleasant and we all chatted along the way. 

We arrived at the cafe and pushed two tables together and ordered food.  Yote and I ordered a cheeseburger with an egg on top, waffle fries, and a side salad. Sherpa got chicken tenders and waffle fries.  Tofu got s giant ceaser and waffle fries. 2.Toe ordered something but I forget. We devoured it and then we headed to the gas station to get celebratory drinks and use their bathroom. 

The gas station had everything we needed. A good IPA selection and lots of 8% Bud Light Lime tall boys in assorted, festive flavors in packs of 2. I bought a pack and a 6 pack of IPA’s for Sherpa and I to share. I accidentally bought Omission which is gluten free so I had to go back to swap it out.  

I went back outside and sat on the curb with the other Hiker Bullies. The Bud Light Lime tall boys became very popular and everyone was drinking them.  Before I knew it, I had drank 3 of them and I was starting to feel very celebratory! After more than an hour of drinking on a curb in front of a no loitering sign, it was time to leave. We went by the cafe again so Sherpa could get a milkshake! We also hike sometimes. 

There we saw two brothers that are doing a long section and I stayed and chatted them up for a while, then we all started the walk back.  

By this time I was feeling exceptionally good, some would say mildly intoxicated. We arrived back at Casa and there lots of people gathered, drinking, and hanging out. I sat and chatted with woodpecker and continued to enhance my condition. 

Unfortunately, my dedication to the celebration was catching up to me. I saw someone out down a biker shirt with flames.  Oh yeah, at Casa everyone had to wear a Hawaiian shirt. This shirt was barely passing as Hawaiian but I wanted it. I was really struggling to figure out how buttons work and I was making a spectical so Sherpa had to help me. After my big win with the shirt we moved to painting rocks, another Casa pass time. Everyone was doing such a fine job on their rock but I was employing the finger painting method and wasn’t having much success due to my new addiction to Bud Light Lime. Soon the paint was on my nose and then Tofu’s nose. 

I put the last touches on my creation and turned to Sherpa and said I am going to relax in the tent. She knew what that meant, I was down for the count. 

I walked back to my tent and took four ibprophine, because with Bud Light Lime, the hangover starts before you finish. I fell asleep instantly. 

Sherpa woke me with a start and I felt drunk and grumpy. She kindly had made a giant plate of taco salad. However it was the last thing a hungover drunk person wants to eat. I tried to do anything in my power to graciously get her to go away but the only thing I could do was to take the plate. After she left I ate three bites and put it at my feet in the tent, because that’s smart. 

I heard someone yell “Carpe Nocturn” and run by. It was a odd night. Luckily Sherpa returned soon and managed the rogue plate and came to bed. I owe her big time! Soon we were both asleep like little hiker babies. 

This post is going to be really short. We set our alarm to 6:30 the night before to really sleep in! Its crazy to think of 6:30 as sleeping in but the fact that we woke up at 6 feeling rested shows how our circadian rhythm has evolved. We packed up and hit the road by 7. The first thing we came accross was a long eerie tunnel under the highway. Sherpa  pointed out that it looks like a PCT symbol.

On the other side of the tunnel was Vaquez Rocks and they were stunning! It was a really pleasant walk through canyons of crazy conglomerated, cliffs, caves, and boulders. On the way we were coordinating breakfast plans with Amelia, now Tofu. She got her trail name and it is very fitting. We are so excited to catch up to her and we also got a message from Yote and 2.toe who were on there way! It’s really nice to catch up with old friends.

We met Tofu in town and went and had a delicious breakfast then got a ride to Hiker Heaven. Hiker Heaven’s efficiency is only matched by Scout and Frodo’s in Campo. They have their shit together. Tofu tipped us off to their mechanical precision, but we had no idea how many hiker trash management systems they had in place.

When we arrived we got an orientation by a guy who reminded me so much of a happy John McCain who hiked a couple of years ago. Quick list of amenities:

• Couples Private Suite
• Internet Tent
• Power
• Sewing Tent with Sodas
• Laundry
• Showers
• Towels
• Hiker Clothes
• Plenty of Shaded Lounging
• Package Pickup
• Mailing Station
• Water
• Kitchen
• TV Lounge
• Ear Plugs

It’s a magical place. We have seen so many good trail friends and had a room to ourselves because we were a couple and arrived early. We went to bed around 9:30 and before we knew it, we were sleeping like little hiker babies.

We stayed up pretty late eating Brats the night before so we slept in until 6 a.m. which is luxurious for us. I was out of my tent pretty quickly and decided to make a quick coffee to get my bones moving. I had one Starbucks via from the trail magic right before Spencer’s Cabin. Sherpa had a few sips and we quickly packed up our stuff said goodbye to the friendly folk at Camp Glenwood, Storm Trooper, and Energizer Bunny.

The hiking wasn’t too eventful hiking wise, just the usual deserty vistas, snakes and lizards. What was striking was the amount of trail magic we encountered. It was kind of insane and we started to think maybe we are on a very luxurious trail. Within 2 hours we ran into a section hiker that said someone was giving out trail magic about a mile ahead and soon we came across a sign at a trail split put there by the Sobohobos. The split was the first of its kind that we have noticed where the horses were supposed to go to the right and hikers had the option of going either direction. The trail magic was down the horse-pedi-path, my new word, we followed hand drawn arrows to a campsite next to Sulpher Springs Trail Camp.

We could tell right away that we were going to like this crew. Not just because they did the AT in the right direction, south, but because they were just really kind and funny. They offered us pancakes, beer, and burgers and of course we accepted. We are really caring people and don’t want to offend so we ate it all and had 2 beers at 9 am. There were four people hosting the trail magic: Barrel Roll, Moosey, Handy-J, and What’s His Name. Really I don’t remember his name, but he was really nice. Barrel Roll and Moosey were both previous thru-hikers and Handy-J and What’s His Name are soon to be long distance hikers. We spent a good amount of time chatting with them and a Couple of Nuts (Walnut and Pecan).

After we had our fill of fun and conversation we packed up and offered to help carry some of the gear out since they were planning on leaving soon. They asked us to help carry a stove and a big blue tub. The car was about .6 from their site on trail. It was mildly tough but we were happy to help and it was on our way. They also asked us to take a beverage for the road. I took a Natty Ice because I am classy and Sherpa took a Dr. Pepper because she is intelligent and motivated.

After we left them we hiked another 10 miles and of course came across another trail magic stop at the Mill Creek Fire Station. Beers and amazing Baritos! Brenna informed us that this was turning into a food blog and I am starting to think that she is right. Apparently we are walking in search of free food all across America’s Pacific Crest. They were exceptionally delicious with egg, chorizo, cheese, and beans. Pretty unbelievable. All the hikers there were hovering under the thinning shade of a porta potty and it was all there was for miles. We met some new hikers, most notably we met a really funny couple named Magellan and Turtle.

They were hilarious and we immediately had a friend crush on them. They were going a little slower because of some shoe issues but we seriously talked about slowing down just so we could hang out with them. Good times were had by all. We hung out for about 3-4 hours until around 5:00 p.m., Sherpa cooked some dinner and then we hit the road. We were hiking through a section that was recently closed because of a fire and poodle dog bush. It turned out to be a really beautiful evening hike. After a steep climb we walked along a ridge through pleasantly overgrown trail and watched the sunset. Sherpa had me walk in front for a while to watch for poodle dog bush as she claims I am a little better at identifying it. A likely story. We had a great time chatting together and hiking in the cool air.

Along the way we ran into Energizer Bunny camped on the hill. We also found Malibu’s painters cap laying on the ground, so we bagged that and chased him for a few miles. When we finally caught him he was facetiming with his wife and he was really excited to have his hat back.

After about 3 miles after the poodle dog detour junction we found a flat spot on the trail at a dirt road. It was nice and cool because it had a very tiny underground stream next to us and the breeze was channeling down through the narrow valley. We threw up our tent, I made a quick ramen, and we went to bed. The moon was beautiful, the sky was clear, and soon we were asleep like little hiker babies.

Wrightwood is a hard place to leave. Our hosts, Ken and Diana, were so kind and so was every other Wrightwood citizen we encountered. 

I woke up early around 5:30  a.m. and Sherpa was still fast asleep so I hopped in the shower and then put on my clothes. Then I browsed the internet until around 6:45.  My that time Diana was already busy with the Memorial Day yard sale.  I helped her hand some signs and move some large items.  By the time I finished Sherpa was up and we got our stuff together.  We walked down to say goodbye to Dianna and she was so sweet she even said “Are you sure you don’t want to stay another night?” 

We have been so blessed with meeting generous people every where we go.  After leaving we walked back to the hardware store to drop our packs and chat with the hikers. I really have been craving a hair cut so I called a local place called Hair in the Woods.  They had an opening at 10:30 with Cheryl. We had 30 minutes to kill and Sherpa wanted a pastry so we walked less than a block to the bakery and she walked inside.  I loitered outside for a moment and a woman came out of the adjacent salon and invited us in to a soup tasting contest for hikers. Apparently they host one every year and the soups were delicious and the women who invited us in were hilarious!

After voting for a tie between broccoli and cheese I took off for my grooming.  

I walked over a few blocks to Hair in the Woods and when I went inside a little dog named Rosie started barking at me. Immediately her owner whipped out a cow prodded looking taser and cracked it into the air.  Instantly Rosie was as docile as a sleeping baby.  My internal reaction was “holy fuck, do not mess with this woman. She will put you down!” A conversation ensued about how she does it to her teenage kids and they immediately pay attention.  It definitely got my attention! 

Cheryl came out a few minutes later and ushered me to the back room.  She began chopping away at my insane hair and beard. When I came out I looked like a new man. I gave her a hug and was on my way feeling like a million bucks.  

When I got back to where Sherpa was before, sure was gone but the Funky town group was there and they appeared shocked at the difference also. Snake Bite was talking about getting her haircut too and later Rise or Shine, I can’t remember which, chopped her hair.  
I caught up with Sherpa and we went back to the hardware store. While there we picked up a package from Lindsey and Tom. They sent us coozies!! We are so excited. Our new favorite toys! We are going to take picture of them everywhere on the trail.  We grabbed a free hotdog at the market and a beer and used them right away. 

Not long after it was time to eat again and Sherpa was craving ice cream so we started walking to the ice cream shop. On the way Peoples and Bam Bam stopped us and we invited them to join us. We got ice cream and sodas, had some good conversation, then said goodbye to end our town adventure. 

We grabbed our bags from the hardware store and hitched a ride to the trail. It was insane how quickly we got a ride. We barely got our thumb out and a generous dad and son picked us up.

The ride to the trailhead was short and we started hiking after saying hi to Totes. We had a steep climb but it was enjoyable. We also found some sodas by the side of the road from a hiker named Dirty B. That shot of caffeine gave us what we needed to get within a mile of the summit of Baden-Powell. 

The site was occupied by Energizer Bunny but we found a flat site next to her. We are dinner and quickly slipped into bed as it was getting cold. Before long we were asleep like little hiker babies. 

All we have been thinking about the last few days has been McDonald’s and today is the day! Ordering pizza with Pilar and Joseph made it feel a little less urgent and we didn’t wake up till 6, but we were still moving quickly to get our long awaited McFlurry reward. 

As we were packing up we noticed the big group with the sister’s passed us by: Rise, Shine, and Snake Bite. Sorry, I am very free wirh how I use punctuation. Seeing a big group ahead of you can sometimes make you feel that there aren’t enough cheeseburgers in this world to go around but we stayed calm and finished packing. 
The 12 miles went by quickly with the exception of the last few miles.  Sherpa was really starting to feel fatigued and a little I’ll from the lack of eating in the morning and the rolling hills. Despite that, the hike was gorgeous and I am in awe that we something surprises and delights every day. The last 3 miles for me was breath taking, literally and figuratively. 

In the distance we could see the highway with a steady stream of cars that looked like they were on a conveyer belt and a train that seemed as though it was at least a mile long.  It looked like a surreal game of trigger happening in the distance on many conflicting planes. I tried to capture it on video but it really doesn’t do it justice. 

There were black crows that were just floating, motionless, and stationary on the wind just at the crest of thr ridge. It is amazing to see wildlife just enjoying themselves. There seemed to be no purpose but pleasure as they weren’t going anywhere, doing anything, or exerting effort. Every time I tried to whip out my camera to capture this they slid away on the wind following the slope away from us, and then we would see them on the next ridge. 

On the final mile we passed through a canyon that had apparently once had a paved road. Time had ripped the road appear and now it was just boulders, broken asphalt, and a stream cutting it’s way through the canyon. 

We have come across old road before and it gives you an eerie feeling. I want to know who passed on the road and why.  And when was it abandoned. What board of select men decided to let it rot and then eventually hang it over to the PCTA. It must be, to a small degree, how Europeans feel when they see some centuries old remnant in their fields. In Spain, I had that feeling when we came across empty graves carved into the living rock.  

The hike ended abruptly as the canyon spilled directly into the highway and onto an old part of the old route 66. We passed an official PCT sign that hilariously said McDonald’s. Sherpa was tiered and got mad when I said smile so I took a picture of the sign and her back instead. 

Mickeyd’s was insanely busy. It must be one of the only stops for miles. There were lots of hikers and nonhikers crowding around the tables and the counter.  That being said, we found a booth quickly and the food and service was efficient and friendly. We stayed there for nearly 5 hours just chatting with hikers and waiting to be hungry again. I ordered a bbq chicken sandwich, which was delicious, and a large 10 piece chicken nugget meal with a Dr Pepper.  I struggled through the last few fries, while Sherpa on the other hand ordered a crispy chicken sandwich meal and destroyed it.  She followed that up with a mcflurry and for second lunch she had a mighty kids meal with chicken nuggets and apple slices. I closed out our session by ordering 2 sausage egg mcmuffins. One of which I stuffed in my bag.  We decided after we had charged our phones and updated the blog to hit the road.  After grabbing a few Gatorades at the gas station next door, we set out to do the last 5.2 miles before bed. 

It was a steep and windy hike. Other than that the most notable part of the hike was when Sherpa nearly got bitten by a rattle snake.  She was marching along and we were looking at the massive trains that were going back and forth through the canyon and not looking at the trail, when all the sudden we see this snake jump back, cool up, and aggressively rattle at us.  It was a close call! We waited for the next hiker, Numbers, to come so we could warn him then walk on. 

A few hundred yards later she asked me if I saw that dead snake behind us. I was like, “dead snake? That snake is not dead! Why didn’t you tell me before I walked right by it!” It didn’t look poisonous but it was hilarious she thought that it was dead!

After five miles of hiking we came across the sister’s and their posse and decided we should stop. We quickly set up camp, chatted with Numbers and another hiker, who were night hiking, and then went to sleep like little hiker babies. 

Today was a day filled with Magic, trail magic that is.  It seems like that is happening to us more and more often. Not a whole lot to report on the first part of the day except that we hiked early and fast. Our plan was to get to Splinters cabin and rest in the shade in the hottest part of the day. 

On the way Sherpa and I got in an argument because apparently, according to an unbiased source, I was interrupting her. I hiked ahead in a huff for a couple miles then we met at the last water source before the 5 miles to Splinters. All’s well that ends well. 

Right before Splinters we came across some guys carrying a giant bag of chip bags, Starbuck Vias, and caramels. I grabbed a Via, Sherpa and another hiker Totes, grabbed caramels. Soon after we saw a cooler on the bank of a beautiful stream with beers on ice! We grabbed a beer and went down to the water to eat lunch and cool off in the water.  There was a gaggle of other hikers there including Rise, Shine, Totes, Beve, Land Mammal, Tastey, and others. 
We had a really enjoyable lunch then headed to Splinters for the rest of our siesta. We had already hiked 17 by the time we got there so only a few miles left to be on schedule to hit McDonald’s for lunch on Wednesday!

At the Cabin we talked to a new hiker named Baloo who said there was a giant rattle snake snaking its way around. It didn’t take too long before we spotted it. It was huge! 

After naps and a few minutes on the internet we started hiking. Hiking from Splinters along Deep Creek was unbelievable. We were half way up a deep canyon with a beautiful deep stream below with waterfalls, shielded from the sun by the canyon walls.  We hiked just passed our goal of 22 and pitched our tent at the first flat spot we could find. 

It was very buggy and our tent was broken so we danced around while Sherpa cooked our dinners and I repaired the tent poles. She scarfed down her dinner and I ate in the tent once we got it up. It was hot so we slept initially on top of our bags, but once we cooled down we slept like little hiker babies. 

Sherpa and I set my alarm for 5 a.m. the night before but I woke up 10 till and jumped out of bed to catch the bathroom before everyone woke up.  Then I went back to get Sherpa up and found her turning off my alarm. Whoops! 

We got our gear together, I had some coffee and we waited for the rest of the crew to be ready.  I slipped Hillbilly a donation and he thanked me. Soon everyone was loading up in his pickup truck to head to the trailhead.  I snapped a photo of the group and then we took off. 

At the trailhead we said goodbye and headed off in a big column of about 6 or 7 of us.  Sherpa and I were right behind the first person and we couldn’t seem to find a good way to politely pass. I took a video of one of Sherpa’s failed attempts.  It was hilarious, at least for me because when I want to pass someone I am not afraid of speaking up.  Sherpa expects people to be “more aware of their surroundings” and instead is content to just clicking her poles on the rocks, hoping they will get the hint.  She didn’t, but luckily there was someone who stopped to talk to the group and Sherpa and I seized the opportunity!

We accelerated for a bit and then hit our normal rhythm. Flame and Beve were right behind us for a while and eventually Beve passed us. The hiking was very pleasant and to our right was a enormous wind farm.  Before long we entered the wind farm property and section c of the PCT. 

After a few more miles we came across a sign leading hikers to the wind farm office for water and shade.  We wanted to check it out just to see what the setup was like and as we approached a man in a pickup truck said there was water and Gatorade inside. Sherpa almost cried she was so excited and it was worth it. The Gatorade was premixed fruit punch, very strong and delicious!

We helped ourselves and said hi to a few hikers inside and then hit the road. As the day went on the hiking was more and more enjoyable and beautiful. We entered high prairies overlooking vast canyons 

Our next destination was Whitewater Preserve. Our friend Crash left his sleeping pad there and I was going to pick it up for him and mail it.  Sherpa didn’t want to hike the .5 miles in so she hiked on.  

The preserve was on a small river that lay in the bottom of a canyon. The river bed was all white stones and white sand and it stood in contrast to the tan canyon walls and grassy hills above.  It had a very nice layout and I spent a few minutes snapping pictures of a wading pool and a sand shade hut. 

Afterwards I went into The rangers station quickly located Crash’a pad behind the counter, and meandered back to the trailhead passing a few hikers on the way.  

Sherpa was going to wait for me somewhere no further than 7 or 8 miles ahead at a stream.  

Hiking alone for the first time was really enjoyable.  For some reason, I am not as thoughtful when hiking with others around so it was nice to have the solitude. I tend to come up with little snippets of ideas that I like to write down so I don’t forget them. I usually only write down the idea not all that I want to remember, hoping that I will be able to recreate the idea from the captured sentiment.  Here are a few that came to me as I wrote them down:

When I’m walking I feel as if I’m devouring the land. And as I walk ground crunches beneath my feet and moistens my tongue. 

Sometimes I cross very dry land and it leaves me part needing a drink to swallow the next few miles.

I once kicked a tumble weed and set it free sooner then it would have on its own 

And because of me it laid in some stream bed and took root 

far from where it would have, had I not giving it to boot

The mountains rise like breasts from the chested ground. 

I smash them beneath my feet and squeeze there peaks between my toes

and perch like a nipple at their peek

My hike was a lot of elevation gain until the very end when I descended into a valley to meet a stream that flowed along the trail for about 12 miles.  Sherpa was sitting under a very pretty tree with tiny song birds all around.  It was very idyllic and peaceful. She suggested that we shift to another spot along the stream and that’s where we spent the rest of the afternoon. 

I took off all my clothes and washed in the stream while Sherpa shook her head. I also washed the salt from my clothes and hung them to dry. Just as I was putting on my boxers 3 hiker guys passed by and definitely got an eye full. Oh well! I am not ashamed. Though Sherpa I’m sure thinks I should be!

We both tried to nap and then at 6 pm, we got up and hiked another 4.2, set up camp, and slept like little hiker babies.